Diversity: Domestic Violence in Same Sex Relationships

Domestic violence is not limited to same sex couples. It never has been. People have tried to ignore the fact that same sex partners have to deal with domestic violence relationships as heterosexual men and women do. People do not think that women will fight because they are too "caring" and "nurturing" to hurt anyone else. They think that men who are fighting can stand up for themselves because they are men. No one has really thought this issue through until recent years. Same sex domestic violence has not skyrocketed recently, it just so happens that it is the same rate for heterosexual men and women in relationships. According to rainbowdomesticviolence.itgo.com, this number is 30-40% for the GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender) population and for heterosexual relationships.

Most of us know that abuse typically stems from some sort of control issue within the realtionship. Whether the abuse be sexual, physical, or emotional. When one person wants to control the other, he or she just assures them that they are worthless in some way or another until they do not feel like they can do it any longer. Typically, we hear of the male abusing the female in this type of relationship. These men feel that they need constant control over their environment, including the people within it. But what occurs concerning gender roles and same sex relationships? Is one partner always more dominating than the other, or do they switch roles based on their own strengths within a given situation? Gender role stereotyping is an issue among heterosexual couples when it comes to domestic violence research and prevention. More research needs to be done to determine how gender roles affect these relationships when each partner is the same sex.

After researching some of the sites on the Internet specific to outreach in same sex partner domestic violence, I see that all of the steps are the same for same sex relationships and for opposite sex relationships. Safety planning, emergency housing, crisis intervention and legal aide are a part of any domestic violence situation that has come to an end. The victim has to want to leave. The difference between heterosexual and homosexual relationships lies here: a man getting beat by a man probably doesn't feel like a man and that works for women being abused by other women as well. They are less likely to report such incidents due to embarrassment and people are less likely to believe that they are in danger when they finally do report. We cannot be sure how many incidents of domestic violence go unreported every year, whether it be same or opposite sex relationships.

The occurence of domestic abuse between same sex partners is slowly becoming recognized as a social and health issue, but since same sex partners are denied the right to marry in almost every state, they are not seen as a couple in the eyes of the law. In North Carolina, partners are defined as being the opposite sex who live or have lived together and/or share a minor child (Barnes, 1998). Same sex partners are not related by blood or by marriage, so it is difficult for their domestic disputes to be settled. "Although gender-neutral language in 37 jurisdictions implies protection of gay and lesbian domestic abuse victims, only four states have made this coverage explicit, either by the language of the statute (Hawaii) or by case law (Illinois, Kentucky, Ohio) (Seelau & Seelau, 2005). This fact might have changed since December of 2005, but with the continued resistance of the recognition of same sex partnerships in the context of a civil union or marriage, I can assume not much concern has been directed to the subject. One might think that this would make it easier for the victim to leave because he or she has no legal ties to the relationship or mutually biological children.


References:
Barnes, P. (1998). 'It's just a quarrel'. ABA Journal (84) 2. February, 1998. Retrieved Feb. 26, 2008 from Academic Search Premier.

Seelau, S.M., and Seelau, E.P. (2005). Gender-role stereotypes and perceptions of heterosexual, gay and lesbian domestic violence. Journal of Family Violence (20) 6. December, 2005. P. 363.

http://www.rainbowdomesticviolence.itgo.com